Do I have to explain everything to you?

Our mission is to explore the intricate dynamics of evil through the fictional experiences, beliefs, and interactions of our characters. We aim to provoke thought and self-reflection, using historically recurring archetypes and caricatures of contemporary and/or trending figures.

Our characters serve as metaphors:

1. Water Bottle: The modern-day incarnation of the devil, symbolized by the everlasting plastic shell that enslaves our life source. This character illuminates the unintended consequences of our creations, and while its malicious intentions are clear in every post, most viewers see only a benign “hydrohomies” meme page run by a rogue admin. This character illustrates how evil often lurks unnoticed in our lives, planting seeds that feed off our sins and ignorance to incrementally corrupt, overthrow, or convert us.
2. Helix Jones: A private investigator turned conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed harbinger. Despite being the only one aware of the Water Bottle’s malicious plans, the public dismisses him as crazy due to his abrasive nature and infamous history of wild, and often baseless theories.

In alignment with our values, our store is committed to offering eco-conscious fabrics and products, ensuring that our practices reflect the responsible and sustainable ethos we promote in our storytelling.

There are size charts in each product description, mortal. This will show you which size will best fit your puny feeble flesh cage.

Once you’ve made the life-changing decision to order your artifact(s), you will receive a confirmation email letting you know that our fulfillment team has received your order. Once your order is fulfilled, you will receive an email notification with your tracking information. Shipping fees are non-refundable in the case of returns.

We use all major carriers, and local courier partners. You’ll be asked to select a delivery method during checkout.

Shipments take anywhere from 4-12 business days to arrive as products are produced from materials throughout our universe and beyond, so please be patient. Your species’ demise wasn't set forth in a day, so neither will these beautifully crafted artifacts that I so graciously offer you.

dO i ShIp OvErSeAs?

Yes, we ship to all planets/dimension, including anywhere on earth (provided the carrier can get to you). Shipping costs will apply, and will be added at checkout.

ah yes, mortals make mistakes! If you need to cancel, I can't any promises, but try to email me asap and I'll see what I can do. However, any blood shed in the process will be on your hands. So, double check your order at checkout before you make any mistakes.

RETURNS?! I CONJURE THESE ARTIFACTS FROM THE BLOOD OF DINOSAURS AND THE TEARS OF ANCIENT AUTISTIC PROPHETS, AND YOU WANT TO RETURN THEM?!?

Just... contact me via the form below.